Working as a counselor can be extremely rewarding. I love seeing my kids work towards meeting their goals! It is also a very hard, time consuming, emotionally draining career choice if I don’t take time for some self care (especially if all my clients seem to be regressing).
In my first year on the job, I was so energetic and excited to work with my kids that I neglected myself and didn’t engage in much self-care. As my caseload increased, I felt that I was sprinting to see all my kids, completing daily paperwork, monthly progress reports, and any quarterly or annual paperwork. After about 4 months in my job, it was taking a toll on me. One day, I had a really bad confrontation with one of my kids, and- let me tell you- middle school girls can be harsh! I went home and cried for hours. I sobbed to my mom- who could barely understand me- and said “I feel like my spirit is breaking.”
“I’m surprised you made it this long.”
I felt like a failure. I felt like I had made the wrong career choice. I felt weak. I was burnt out after 4 months in my first job. The next day, I was talking to my co-worker, and she said: “I’m surprised you made it this long. The girl you replaced cried every day for the first 6 months, because these girls were so mean to her.”
As I engaged in some self-reflection, I remembered when I felt burnt out during grad school at William & Mary. I had 15 hours of class every week, a 20-hour internship, a 10-hour graduate assistantship, and I babysat for 10-15 hours a week. I was struggling with insomnia, and I had developed a particularly annoying eye twitch. When I went to an optometrist, he told me that my eye twitch was completely stress related. He told me to take some eye vitamins, but, overall, I just needed to relax.
At the same time, I was taking a course called Transpersonal counseling. We had to find a relaxing activity to engage in for two weeks. I bought a Buddha Board
I had to realize that I was weak.
I had given everything that I had to my kids, so I was emotionally dehydrated. I am not a super human with a never ending battery, so I started a plan of self care. I was always teaching my kids that they needed to practice coping skills, but I was neglecting to do so. Just like during an emergency on an airplane, we’ve got to take care of ourselves before we can help anyone else.
Tips for Self Care:
- Make it short.
- Try some quiet time.
- Schedule it in.
- Undertake something new.
- Talk to someone.
Make it short.
Now, you need relaxing activities that take more than 30 minutes, but it’s also important to have quick self care activities. Enjoy a cup of tea, take a short walk, apply essential oils, take 10 deep breaths, stretch, blow some bubbles, or anything that helps you release tension.
Try some quiet time.
Now, this can be hard if you have kids, but your kids will not die from TV or iP
ad withdrawals (I promise!). In a world that is constantly moving, I struggle as an introvert, who needs some peace and quiet to recharge. After my meltdown, I unplugged for two weeks. I didn’t listen to the radio. I didn’t watch any TV. I only used my phone to answer direct calls and text messages. When I got home from work, I would make a cup of tea, sit on my porch, and read my Bible. I took evening strolls and listened to the sounds of nature instead of Mumford & Sons.
On the first day, I thought I was going to lose my mind in silence. I’m one of six kids, and I think I keep the TV on most of the time for background noise. By the end of the two weeks, I returned to my normal routine, but I still try to have at least 30 minutes of silence every day. Start with unplugging for an hour in the afternoon or evening.
Schedule it in.
Whether it’s a short or long activity, set a day and time. I have a personal planner that I keep at work. Every month, I set three goals for every week: exercise 3 times a week, have 5 short self care activities, and 2 long self care activities. I mark an “X” on the day I exercise, an “!” for a short self care activities, and an star for long self care activities. It’s easy to say “I’ll do it tomorrow” or “I’ll get to it eventually.” Before you know it, Monday has become Friday, and the first of the month has turn into the end of the month. Make self care a priority!
Undertake something new.
When I started taking self care seriously, I made a workout routine, but a knee injury later prevented me from following this routine. As I debated canceling my gym membership until after my surgery, I noticed that my gym offered a water aerobics class at the indoor pool. After clearing it with my doctor, I tried it out. Even though I am the youngest member of the class, I love it! I consider it not only a workout but a long self care activity (two marks in my planner!) When I get out of the pool, I am so relaxed that I feel like I’ve had a massage. So, try something new. Try it a couple of times. If it works, great! If not, you can always quit later, but give it a couple of attempts before throwing in the towel.
What works for one person may not work for you. Some people love journaling. Personally, I have to write a daily progress note on each of my kids…for every day…within 24 hours. My job mandates that I chronicle the services I daily provide. Journaling is not a self care activity for me, but you have to find a way to express those feelings. As I said earlier, I found just writing a one word failure of the day on my Buddha board helped me.
Talk to Someone.
We know that bottling things up is not a good coping skill. You have to develop a way to release the failures and frustrations of the day. If you’re in the health care field, you have the responsibility of maintaining your client’s privacy, but you can express your feelings and frustrations and maintain confidentiality. See a counselor. Talk to your Higher Power. Journal. Talk with co-workers about their experiences. If a client has told you something particular disturbing, consult with your supervisor about how to proceed. You are not alone.In any career path, there will be bad days, so make sure you’re taking care of yourself!
Have any other self care strategies? I would love to hear about them in the comments below. Also, don’t forget to pin!
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